Not Guilty

I don't believe in guilty pleasures.

Seriously, I don't. If it makes you happy and it doesn't hurt you or anyone else why on earth should you feel bad about it? Because someone else doesn't think it's cool? Newsflash: once you're old enough to rent a car (probably earlier than that, but let's be generous here) it doesn't matter one tiny little bit if you're cool or not. Real adults, in my experience, value authenticity over persona any day of the week, and someone who's going to write you off just because you still love car-dancing to the Backstreet Boys or whatever is probably not a long-term friend prospect anyway for a lot of other reasons, chief among them the fact that they are clearly no fun at all. So go on ahead with your car-dancing and your pink-wine-drinking and your eating of non-organic vegetables and whatever else someone is trying to make you feel bad about for no other reason than that they have nothing better to do. Haters to the left, as the kids say (are the kids still saying that?). Enjoy the hell out of yourself, life is a tremendous gift and it's too damn short.

HOWEVER.

Notice the qualifying phrase up there: "if it doesn't hurt you." There are the things that you love that you're not "supposed" to, like big loud stupid pop music or drugstore romance novels - things that if consumed in excess won't hurt anything except maybe your eardrums or your given amount of bookshelf space or the super-refined tastes of those around you (which, again, don't matter anyway). And then there are the other things, the foods or intoxicants or what have you, that will definitely hurt you if you overindulge but which are so easy to turn to when you feel like you need a treat. It is very, very important to draw a distinction between "this makes me happy" and "I am unhappy, and I'm hoping that this will make me feel better," because this is where treats become crutches and crutches, over time, become harmful. If you are fundamentally unhappy, no amount of cupcakes or cheap wine or time at the casino is going to make you feel better. They will, however, start to negatively affect your health and that in turn is not going to do anything good for your fundamental happiness.

I have no easy course-correcting suggestions here. I'm not sure they really exist, to be honest. I think maybe in this case the best you can do is practice a little mindfulness - ask yourself if that "treat" is really what you need right now. Maybe it is! But maybe what you actually need is a hug or a walk around the block or to put on your favorite song as loud as you can stand it and sing along at the top of your lungs. Maybe it's just as satisfying to buy a bunch of flowers rather than that bottle of wine, and maybe what you really need to do is clean your house. You can reward yourself afterward! But maybe you'll find that you no longer need to.

I have to acknowledge also that maybe there's something going on in your life for which you're using those treats as a band-aid, maybe a toxic friendship, an unhealthy living situation, unpleasantness at work, or something along those lines. If that's the case, please take care of yourself and figure out what you need to do to handle whatever it is that's hurting you. Nothing is insurmountable, and even if something is terribly difficult in the short-term the long-term rewards are so very worth it. And never be afraid to draw on a trained professional's help with a situation you're not sure how to navigate. That is, after all, what they're there for. I'll say it again: nothing is insurmountable. 

Tomorrow is Foodie Wednesday! As for today, well, enjoy it and be truly, deeply good to yourself. 

- Sarah